Lost Time

Today was a terrible day with Aidan. I don't even know this child I saw today. I know this is a result of the yeast coming out of his body and the doctor told us to expect this, but I didn't think it would be this bad. He is this wild child who is throwing things at our heads and smacking us in the face. He has a tantrum at every little thing, and is beyond frustrated at his lack of abilility to communicate with us. He is making this screaming noise that sounds like it is coming straight out of a horror movie. As difficult as this is, I know it means that the nystatin is working!

I feel that Craig and I have entered a new stage in our recovery of Aidan. First it was denial and now it is anger. I am ANGRY! Angry that I have lost this time with my son. This is the time when we are suppossed to be enjoying our child at this age. Time when we should be talking with our friends about the silly little things he said or did today. Instead we are parents with little benefits. I know that sounds harsh to say, but any parent knows that when you put a tremendous effort into your child you reap the rewards. Just like putting a ton of planning into a party or a trip to disneyland to see the joy and reaction on your child's face. Instead, we decline invitations to go do things like the beach because we know how difficult it is. I know this sounds depressing, but I created this blog to help others as well as help myself and sometimes it helps me to vent on here. So I will end with this, I know that I will never get the lost time back with my child, but I know that because of the path we are on now, I will have many beautiful moments in the future to look forward to.