Liam

Giving Kisses!

Handsome boy!

Loves to swing!

Little stinker face!

This blog has been all about Aidan, naturally, but I would like to dedicate this specific entry to Liam. Liam is truly an amazing child. He has been a ray of sunshine on my darkest of days, a comfort in my saddest moments. His face lights up my every moment and I couldn't imagine a cuter little face! His joyful personality is contagious. He has such excitement for life and is such a social and happy little boy. Everywhere I go people comment on what a joy he is! I am so thankful for both my precious boys, and Liam is truly a miracle in so many ways. Many family members suffer with an autism diagnosis, and that especially includes siblings. Liam has risen above any obstacle that would get in the way of having his brother play and laugh with him.
Liam your momma loves you more than anything in this world. Thank you for all the hope, love and joy you give me everyday. I look forward to watching your amazing personality grow and flourish!

Generation Rescue

Generation Rescue was one of the first websites I turned to when we starting having concerns about Aidan. Eva was the one who discovered it along with several other books and websites that offer hope for recovery. What I like about generation rescue is that they provide parents with resources as well as contacts to offer encouragement and direction. I remember reading the stories of parents whose kids were getting better thanks to biomedical treatment, and therapies. If it wasn't for generation rescue, I wouldn't have even known what a DAN! doctor or GFCF diet even was.
I am honored to say that our precious Aidan is now featured on this wonderful organization's website. Now Aidan is able to offer other families hope and encouragement! When I held Aidan in my arms for the first time, I knew he would make a difference in this world...........I would have never guessed this would be how. Aidan is such a brave and courageous boy who still manages to put a smile on his face everyday no matter what he is going through. His resilience amazes me! I am honored to be his mother and proud that he is featured on generation rescue! May his story be one of courage, love, and hope. www.generationrescue.org

We need answers!

The CDC announced this last week that the new rate of autism is 1 of 88 children.

This is not just a number, this is my child. My world. My everything.

I live with autism from the moment the day begins till the moment it ends. I have to strive everyday to help him get through the obstacles that autism puts in his way. So these are not just numbers to me, these are children. These are lives and families. I feel this overwhelming sadness when I think of how many children are affected by autism and this statistic is for children born in the year 2000. I can only imagine how many born in the same year as Aidan (2009) have been diagnosed. Oh wait, that's right, they are now trying to change the diagnosis criteria so that 55% of the kids will no longer get diagnosed. That's a good way to cover up this mess. Let's just diagnose them with social communication disorder instead.

Parents need answers. We are not against the science......we are asking for science! I think it is safe to say that we are not dealing with a genetic disease here. There is an environmental factor and I wonder what the rate of autism has to be till we start getting answers. This is an epidemic and until you are directly affected by autism it is hard to understand the magnitude of it all. For me and my family this is an everyday burden and we will never give up asking for answers. We can not simply stand by and allow the numbers continue to rise.

Huge Responsibility

As I was leaving the TAG office today with Aidan.......I turned my back on him for one second (to unlock the door he locked) and he went running up the stairs of the building to the 2nd floor. I screamed "stop" on the top of my lungs, but it did not stop him for a second. He went speeding towards the elevator with me running behind him as fast as I could......just as he pressed the button the elevator opens, he runs in, and I barely made it myself as the doors were closing!!!!! As we rode the elevator down to the first floor I told Aidan that it was dangerous that he ran from mommy and that I am very disappointed in him. No reaction on his behalf, he was more fixated on the elevator. On the drive home I started thinking about what could have happened if the building was multiple floors and how I could have lost him or he could have been kidnapped, or he could have hurt himself..etc., etc.,

I tried to overcome these feelings of anxiety, but then I got home and read a news article about a boy with autism who wandered off and drowned in a lake and whose body was found today. I immediately started crying, I really felt the magnitude of the responsibility of looking after a child with autism. As his mother it is my duty to keep him safe from all sources even himself. This is a huge responsibility. I can never underestimate Aidan and his skills! He can pretty much unlock a deadbolt and latch in 2 seconds. Even though Aidan is getting better each day, I still have that burden on my shoulders every moment of every hour of every minute of every second!

No wonder Dr. Jerry says parents of children with autism are under chronic stress!!!

Time for my adrenal boosters!

Live in the Joy Now!

I had a huge epiphany this week concerning Aidan's autism. I must admit it was a difficult week and I was feeling discouraged about Aidan's progress. So I decided to go to the TACA website, which often is where I go when I'm feeling down.

I like to read stories of other families whose children are doing better, and often times I try to see if there is something thats missing in what we are doing for Aidan.

Well, this latest TACA article was written about finding joy in your child right now, exactly as they are. It really hit me. Often times I am so consumed with getting Aidan "recovered" and I get so down when we take a step backward, that I forget to live in the joy that is now.

There are wonderful moments everyday with my boys and I don't want to miss them because I'm so focused on "what's next" in Aidan's treatment. I need to enjoy the moment now! There is so much pain on this journey but there is also joy. From now on I am going to try to focus on the joy! The joy of being Aidan and Liam's mommy. The joy of having a two amazing sons and one who is fighting like hell everyday to find his words. We are a warrior family, and part of that is recognizing that we can enjoy life and enjoy each other!

Road to Recovery

The road to recovery is full of many ups and downs. Many dark days and joyful days. Every moment I see Aidan do something new or say a new word is a victory on this journey. It is not for the faint of heart. I will admit there have been days when I ask myself "when is this nightmare going to be over?".

There are those who say "why don't you just accept him for who he is?".

But this is not who he is. He deserves better. He deserves to have a voice. To learn to dress himself. To learn to use the potty. To experience all the beautiful things life has to offer.

He is always accepted and loved for who he is, but part of loving my child is to help him get better.

This week was a good one for the autism community. The doctor involved in the MMR study that was such a controversy in 1998 was exonerated on all charges against him. It is wonderful to have justice served for a man who was called a "criminal" and a "fraud". Many other doctors have feared doing research on vaccines and autism for fear of attack. This is a shame because parents need answers. But for now, us parents continue on this journey thankful for this one victory.

I've got my boy back!

We met with Dr. Kartzinel yesterday to go over all of Aidan's lab results (blood and stool).

Dr. Kartzinel went down the list of each problem and we came up with an evil genius plan on how to get Aidan feeling better. People don't realize that many children with autism have a load of other issues that are causing them to feel terrible. Behavioral therapy can work much better when my child's parasites and yeast are killed off and the arsenic is removed from his body. Arsenic! Aidan was in the 99th percentile for the amount of arsenic in his body. His triglycerides are high, his cholesterol is high, and he has parasites and yeast. He also has a low amount of vitamin D in his body. These are all things we need to fix in order for him to feel better. (And this is after almost a year of bio-medical interventions.)

We also figured out the genetic component to Aidan's autism. Aidan has a methylation defect. That basically means that he does not detox well. The dump truck of the body that gets rid of all the toxins that come into the body, isn't working as well as it should. So when a poor methylator is exposed to many toxins they are not a able to detox them efficiently. Aidan was not able to remove the formaldehyde, mercury, aluminum, and adjuvants in the 32 vaccines from his body. A methylation defect is not rare. Many people are bad detoxifiers. So why are we giving one size fits all vaccines? What if children aren't able to detox them all? Vaccines are not the only toxins our children are exposed to, they are in our environment, food, etc.

Once we heal all these conditions in Aidan, I believe his autistic behaviors will completely diminish. We have already had so many "wow" moments. For example, we are now getting hugs and kisses from Aidan. He is initiating play and experience sharing with us. He is also putting words together, "hi daddy", "night night moon", "night night Liam".

I no longer end the day in tears exhausted and hopeless. I now end the day grateful. I am grateful because I have gotten my son back. Any parent who has a child with autism knows that feeling of longing for your child. It is like you don't truly know them. Autism takes your child from you and takes away your child's longing for a relationship or connection with you. I can truly say I have gotten my Aidan back! He is here and we made it through! We together are defeating this and he is on his way to a happier and healthier life.

It is so amazing to watch my child emerging from the land of autism. To connect with him again is the best feeling in the whole world. I don't care any more how many people think we are crazy when we put our kids on special diets and give them supplements, and question our current vaccine program. When you try to make a difference in this world and do something great, you will face hurt and criticism from others. I'm sure there are many moms like me out there who were called "crazy" for believing in the implications of vaccines, or for thinking that diet and detoxing could heal their child's autism. Healing Aidan as well as helping any other child is so worth being called "crazy" or told I've "gone off the deep end" or "fanatic".

I am grateful for the knowledge and courage of Dr. Kartzinel. He dedicates his practice to helping these kids get better. It is overwhelming because there are so many children globally being diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and other neurological disorders. So little is being done to research and help these children.

Remember, one step at a time to make a difference in this world and a difference in the life of a child. I pray that this blog can offer hope so that other mothers out there will not feel alone in their struggles. You can get through this. There is hope, there is recovery, and there is healing.

Aidan turns 3 years old!

Aidan turned 3 this week and it was the best birthday yet. He was so enthusiastic about opening presents, going to disneyland, and having everyone sing him happy birthday. We celebrated his birthday at disneyland and it was so much fun. I could post dozens of pictures of all the fun he had. It was wonderful to see Aidan so joyful and happy. He is a different child than last year. There is much more joy in his life and he is so aware of the world around him. It was daddy's idea to get him a drum set for his birthday. At first I was unsure, but it was the best gift for Aidan. He loved it. He played so well and was pleased when we would all applaud him. It was such a beautiful moment. I will never forget this birthday because I truly felt like I had my son completely present. He was connecting with all those around him and enjoying himself with his family and friends. I felt so happy to see this.

I am beginning to see the sweet spirit of Aidan truly come out. The spirit I always knew was there since I held him in my arms for the first time. It just went away for a little while.

I am finally getting my boy back! I adore him so much and nothing brings me more joy than to see him so happy! Happy Birthday Aidan! You are such an amazing blessing to this family. You have taught us so much and you have changed me as a person forever. When they placed you in my arms for the first time I felt the most euphoric sense of happiness. I knew you were going to make a difference in this world. I could have never imagined that this was how, but I know that the path God chooses for us isn't always an easy one. You Aidan have given me the courage to stand up for the truth and to have the strength to get you to where you are now. And where we are now is a great place to be!

2012 off to a great start!

This year began with a powerful start for Aidan. We went and saw Dr. Kartzinel last week and he was very excited to take Aidan as a patient. He has so much expertise in the field of autism and seems almost frustrated to see another child so young affected by this disease. His son is also autistic, so he knows first hand the struggles we go through as parents.

I asked him if he thinks Aidan would fully recover and he looked me in the eyes and said "no". This reply took me by surprise. He said "you will always notice the quirky things Aidan does even when to most he is indistinguishable from his peers". He also mentioned something else I had never thought of before. He said "how can you say someone is recovered when you have no idea what they would have been like before this ever happen to them". What he meant by that is unfortunately I will never know what Aidan would have been like if autism wouldn't have taken him. Will he be in an institution someday? Yes. We are thinking Harvard or Princeton. Will I always notice the quirky "autistic" behaviors? Yes, and that's OK.

Today we began the process of testing Aidan's feces and blood. He is still having some digestive issues poor guy. He was incredibly brave when they took SEVEN VIALS of blood! I was so proud of my little guy. I look forward to getting his lab results back so we can proceed in his treatment. Meanwhile Craig and I are continually encouraged by his improvement everyday. I have almost forgotten what our lives were like before we began treatment because Aidan is a different child. He is much happier and there is so much more joy in his life. I start my day with hope rather than sadness. I look forward to all the wonderful opportunities ahead for Aidan. He will be 3 years old next week and I feel we have a year head start to when most people even begin acknowledging their child's autism. Time is not on your side when you are dealing with autism. The sooner you help your child the better. I am so encouraged that already in one year we have come SOOOO far. I have so many people to thank for that. This has been a journey that has required funding, encouragement, support, prayers, and love. As Aidan turns 3, I reflect on all those that love us and him. For that I am always grateful. I am also grateful for the knowledge and courage of all the mothers before me who have paved the path for the rest of us. 2012 is off to a great start!