Dreams Do Come True

I repeatedly have this same dream. The dream is that I am laying in bed and all of sudden Aidan comes in my room and says "hi mommy". I am shocked when I hear it and turn to Craig and say "did you hear what he just said?". We both run and hug Aidan and I begin crying tears of happiness.

I wake many mornings after having this same dream and realize that it was all just a dream and I am back in this nightmare. Then I cry for a little while. I long so badly to hear those words. Words that most mothers take for granted every day.

Just the simple words "hi mommy".

I know someday this dream will come true. I will never lose hope. We've already gotten so far, I can't give up now.

The Marathon Begins

Aidan after a few weeks of the GFCF diet and a week into the biomedical intervention.
I have to speed forward a couple weeks. Thanks to Eva's suggestion, we began a GFCF diet right away. I really didn't know much about it but I thought I'd give it a try. We also got in touch with a DAN! doctor (defeat autism now!) and began a DAN protocol for Aidan. We started see changes right away. Aidan began pointing for the first time. He also seemed to make eye contact with us in a way he never did before. It was like he could really see us. He was looking deep in our eyes like he never did before. It was so encouraging to see that the fog was lifting.

On top of the DAN protocol, we starting meeting with Gail and the TAG organization. They really opened our eyes to how we as parents could begin to help Aidan communicate. Gail was such an encouragement to us in enforcing early intervention to truly help Aidan. We began the RDI program. All of this started in March of 2011. As Gail says "this is a marathon, not a sprint".

This was the mantra I have repeated in my mind each day when I get frustrated or sad. I also have to remind myself that God had gotten us this far and He is going to keep us going!

Sometimes it takes a good slap in the face to come to your senses. It starts with the music class. Well, I should say the music class teacher. Miss Kara had seen my frustration with Aidan and my frustration with evaluation after evaluation to only be told that Aidan needs speech therapy. Kara gave my sister the book "Mother Warriors" written by Jenny Mcarthy. A book about many mothers who have had the strength to recover their children from autism. This set in motion a series of events that got us truly started to healing Aidan. Kara had the courage to give this book to my sis and Eva read it and thought to herself "my God this is my nephew"!!

It took Eva courage to then give me the book and share with me that she felt Aidan had ASD. I definitely fought it at first. I denied it and told her she was wrong, etc. She patiently waited and just prayed that God would bring me to my senses so I could stop wasting time and help Aidan. God answered her prayers. The final turning point was a pedicure. Yes a pedicure! My dear manicurist Nayer gave me a video about a group call TAG (the autism group). I fought her on it, but she said "just take the video!". I went home, watched it, and immediately call the organization and that's when I met Gail. I will talk more about her later. Amazing how God provides for us. It was all coming together for Aidan!

Hitting home.....well almost.

Aidan repeatedly hitting light switch

So when did it hit home that there was something going on with Aidan? Well that depends on who you ask. For me I really noticed around 18 months. Aidan had maybe spoken 1 word at the time and it seemed that he could not comprehend anything I was saying to him. He never responded to his name and he rarely acknowledged or prefered me from others. The repetitious behaviors were becoming more frequent. Endless times I would pull in the driveway from music class and sit and cry in my car out of frustration and sadness. Aidan was more interested in the door knob and looking out the window then participating in this amazing musical class. Why? Why? That was a question brought up at family gatherings, only to be told "he is a boy" or "he is immature" or my favorite "he will grow out of it". Others were concerned but kept quiet for the moment not completely sure themselves if something was really wrong with Aidan. Deep down I knew, but no mother wants to acknowledge that there is something different with her child. So for now lets just say that at this point it was still far from hitting home for me. Until God aligned everything so perfectly that I would come to the realization that I need to help my son.....and fast!

That darn toy!

The top photo is Aidan playing alone at 15 months

The bottom photo is my happy boy at 6 months old. How did he change?

We noticed around 10 months that Aidan began smiling less and he started showing puffiness around the eyes. He was not quite as engaging as he was at 8 months old and even 6 months old.

He became obsessed with this toy that had gears and it would spin in circles. Over and over again he would hit the button to watch the gears spin. He played with it so much that we had to replace it several times because it wore out from overuse. We didn't think anything of it at the time. I remember on his first birthday, the only way to get him to sit with me and look at his presents was to have the gear toy on mine or his lap. All I wanted was to have some pictures of him opening his presents. We did get some, thanks to his infamous gear toy. If you ever ask me what I've done with that toy today, you can ask the Escondido Disposable Collectors. The brand new one that was a gift for his little brother? I think I'll donate it.

Mommy's Worst Fear

Every mother's worst fear is that there could be something wrong with her child. We hold our newborns in our arms and think to ourselves "I made it". My child is born healthy and the hard part is done." We feel this overwhelming love for our child. The need to protect them from all the bad in the world. We are tigers for our cubs and we want the very best for them to reach their full potential in life. We look at every "milestone" at each age..... 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 18 months, etc. We browse down the checklist eagerly making sure that our child meets each objective. As we check off each one we breathe a sigh of relief and say to ourselves "thank goodness my child is fine". That was my life until my precious son Aidan stopped meeting those important milestones. My happy, smiling, content little boy began to change.